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Reality suxs.
your girl ♥

I'm a girl, who ♥ G-dragon.
Studying in fxcking HIHS school.
Hate me ?
fxck off, pls.
Love me ?
Muackz ! ♥♥♥

fxcking waiting♥

Miracle.
that girl, fxck off.
ETCs


special listed ♥

Love love !!



run-na-way !♥


pink baby's days !♥


take a bow ♥


Sunday, August 30, 2009

IDIOTS LAH.

That si ao ting keep asking forcing me to say what food bring. And then all the easy stuff taken up. Tibits and sweets all taken le. Only cooked food. Siao who want to bring cooked food. zzz.

mY GReatest regret: shouldn't sign in MSN. the moment i sign in, she 'attacked'.
Bei zha si le.

And then that lydia is like adding oil to fire. First time she ask wat u bringing for 2moro. I dk wat she talking about. Coz i nvr take the paper, thot 2moro normal school day, then tues celebration. Haizz... after that sign out, go play audition.

After that exit game. Sign in again. Lydia and ao ting send the message at the same time loh. So ao ting started asking. Wat u bring wat u bring........

Sian finally understand wat lydia mean by wat 2 bring 2moro.

After that i don care ao ting a while.

Thinking wat 2 say since she reject so many already.

Kinda decided not to eat or drink their food already.

Then lydia is like saying if you dont bring, cannot eat or drink. The way she say it is like so wat loh... As if i care for their stupid food.... She acts like so big. Wah she bring cake, very good hor??? Then can say so much sarcastic remarkks. Like she very good like this.

Idiot.


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 2:51 PM


Thursday, August 27, 2009

2moro friday but not really happy friday. Haizz....

Well, 2moro got home econ. Not sure is theory or practical or both. Think is both bah, kinda have some broken memories of this thought. Coz 2moro also got HE common test, about the diseases like obesity and families. I haven't studied. But I never do studying at this time. Now is really cold. Just rained and wind is freezing. I just finished the food order list. Once again got reminded how simple my dish is. Really simple. Dunno can pass the test or not. Maybe buying some cheap ingredients to test it out. MAYBE.

2moro is the deadline for the science article. Found the article, printed it but havent do. Wait later.

Just now as i was saying, rained. Not very big though. It's funny like the sky making fun of me. Monday tuesday bring umbrella. But then 他死都不要 rain. Beg also dun rain. Then wednesday and today thursday rained. Yesterday at golf, quite big rain but luckily it stopped and so safe. But then today.... Haaizz...... Rained. Haizz....
Then si kemmy si dou bu yao zou. Is she ownself say dont wait for the teacher liao. Then also she say wait and see the teacher. Self-contradicting. Ownself beat ownself. Suan le nvm.
反正都要湿了, 就 save time chiong home.

Ok that's all. And then 1 thing.

WHY MY COMP ALWAYS SO LAG!!!!!!

I dunno spend how many time and frustration to go to that website to change song.

Haizz.....

My theory: Lag= Frustration+ Anger+ Waste time+ and still FRUSTRATION.


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 4:59 PM


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Came across a video in Youtube. Quite nice.
Title: A beautiful lie- 30 seconds to Mars.




Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 5:26 PM


Saturday, August 22, 2009

My experiment failed.

And so I was playing with food, potato to be exact, and cooking up various ways to cook potato. In my mind, it worked well and bear fantastic results. Perfect.

But of course it didn't work out so nice and perfectly.

But then it was quite ok. The grilled potato chips.

When it was just hot, taste quite alright, although I suspect the first round of potatoes were not cooked completely. The second round was good.

But when put to cool, and it's cold now, didn't taste so good now. It's just potatoes. I didn't put in lemon and chili as stated in recipe, coz too lazy to go out buy. And besides it's just an experiment done out of boredom and for fun only, don't need to spend so much on that.

Haizz....

In summary, my food experiment failed....


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 4:30 PM


Thursday, August 20, 2009

My theory: Everything are just plain lies.

The world is just a big lie. No truth. Everyone in your life are just wearing a mask to help them in their lying. Every move, every word, are all part of the biggest show in their life.

I just can't stand people in my life. I am just used to the world where I exist alone and do anything I like. Now that people start invading into my life, I am getting moody and annoyed about this. Can't stand it. Especially irritating people. Talk crap and waste my time. Sometimes, if my mood is good, can still control it. But don't blame me when my explosion starts. And better stay away, if you are smart enough to know danger.

Today in art, I don't know what to say. Mixed feelings. Good? Coz for once get out of classroom and do something different. Bad? Coz never attend the first 2 lessons, so had to chiong chiong chiong to finish the work sloppily.

I hate this man. First of all, I totally don't like to rush. And then when rush, naturally for me, the work turned out like shit, rubbish. Next, I don't like the limited choice that are left. Only pink left. And that pink is so ugly. Yue kan yue tao yan. Last, I hate the fact this thing is going to once again remind me how unartistic I am. How bad am I at art. And how I always fails art.

This thing is going to fail me. Or pull me down badly. 它只会连累我,pull me into the water. I hate how this thing can affect me. How it constantly reminds me that I can never do well in art, no matter how hard I tried.

Theory: Stop finding excuses for yourself.
You just can't do it, coz you are stupid.




Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 10:46 PM


Sunday, August 16, 2009

1 CJ7 gift. Haizz... LOL. NVM now they can be twins and won't be so lonely anymore.
Meanwhile, ps arh kemmy, can't find a twin for ur poor hanging panda. HAha guess it will be very lonely from now on. Coz CJ7x1 got twin le, won't talk to panda le. XD



Cutting the cake... I don't really like the cake though...



I kinda like this pic. It lights up life. Everything else seemed so insignificant...



Cake before the candles. Haizz i see so much cake and the same pic, that i dun feel like saying anymore....


Are they the same??? LOL i think so. Haiya upload twice. Nvm twins haha...


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 2:36 PM



Happy birthday to me......

Funny thing, it's suppose to be happy birthday, but just now wasn't very happy. But then return home, on comp coz too much things on my mind too heavy, dun feel like sleeping. And then Kemmy sent birthday wishes. This is common? expected? maybe i dunknow. The surprise thing is that when i on facebook, someone actually chat and said happy birthday. And that someone is not any random stranger which i add for fun. That someone is from class, Zhimin. Actually i dun really know her, except last time sit beside her for maths. Then we weren't like, you know those type of really close friends. We were strangers that only know name and go to the same classroom every day. So it's really surprising.

Initially my earlier birthday celebration with the -real- family members is not so good. In fact it was bad, really bad. It made it have the feeling that not having the celebration is much better. After all i have been left invisble for so many years, now suddenly got celebration, is like so weird and unnatural. I had decided to come here pour out everything, every agony. But this sudden unexpected birthday wish made me change my mind.

Suan le... After all they took the time and effect to make this celebration. I should appreciate it even though it didn't go so well for me. And they took it. I guessed i faked it well. They thought i really enjoyed it. And in fact i should.

This may be the last celebration i ever have. At least i see this now..... So must really enjoy this moment.

Perhaps the best birthday ever had. 16 Aug 2009.


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 12:22 AM


Friday, August 14, 2009

Hello!!!!! XD
So happy to be back here again. Haha!!! =D
Why??????
Coz been sick for two days and sick of coz no mood to play comp lah. Common sense right??? LOL.
Anyway noticed 1 thing. I am kinda allways sick on Wednesday, golf day. Dunno why. Last last week stomach pain so skip golf. Already struggling during the last few lessons, of coz cannot go golf lah. Go le will die of pain one leh, and not in a very nice way when the pain tortures. Even if i want to die, also must die beatifully, perfectly and in the best way.
Ok then last week, actually is in this week de wednesday, had mild flu and runny nose. Not too bad but enought to ruin everything and spoil the day. So i was debating whether to go or not. I think i can bear it and last till 6pm. But on the other hand i was thinking that time can really pass slowly, especially when you are not feeling well, sometimes. So what to do??? Already skipped once last week, if skip again the teacher is sure to say something about it, especially when he reminded us to go on that day itself. So haizz... I sacrificed myself for a greater cause, the CCCA point actually. If things lik e CCA point dun exist, i heck cate everything loh, chiong home sleep lo. Think i still care about this damn wastinf time golf meh??!!

Anyway i already predicted that thursday am not coming to school coz of hosp appointment.

Before talking about thursday, just one small little to add in. If you need to take panadols for flu and cold, just take 1 , not 2. Coz if you do, you will feel a terrible sleepping spell. Before sleeping, i pop 2 pills, but did not sleep. Watching the repeat drama on channel 8, until 11 plus to 12. Then close eyes. But still did not sleep. You may think runny nose among so many disease, is perhaps the best and mild and simple kind of stuff but i tell u actually is not. Coz when nose is dry, its block your nose and cannot smell anything right. Only can breathe. But then i'll rather not breathe coz it'll only make my sore throat more worse. So cannot sleep well lah. Thursday woke up, feel so bad that i dun wan 2 get up at all.....

THursaady went hosp. Though i took the blood test so many times le, see the needle before for so long, but then feel a strange weird fear? when see the nurse prepare the needle. Kinda scary sia when she pushed the thing in.
Thursday was a tradegy??? Coz i took 2 blood tests in 1 same day, the firs time in so many hosp trips. Coz i have runny nose, sore throat and flu---( all sysmtoms of H1N1, it was only wwhen i look at the posters then i know) Including breathlessness. Everything except fever. bUT IT'S unaccurate to take the temperature after taking medicine. So i dun know. They want to make sure everything ok so ask me take a second blood test check the white cell count.

At this point, very boring right??

Now here's where the -chili- comes in.

Coz the room very cold. And i see the needle again. Although this time no particular feelings. The nurse checked for the blood in right hand but no blood leh. So she do on the left, the same hand earlier. No blood no choice. have to do. So she poke the needle in and i look. Poke so long and deep and no blood---to my horror??
She poke further. The further it went in the more ppain it is. Finally when she sink the whole metal part in, got some blood le.....

Kinda diao.......


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 8:10 PM


Monday, August 10, 2009

9 Aug 2009.

Unfortunate day.

1st unfortunate event:------->
Became fatter. zzz.. i hate this man. I want cut all the fats in my thigh!!!!!!!

2nd unfortunate event:----->
Fell an ugly fall. Into drain (not completely hor!!! dun anyhow think!!!!!)
Then got slight blue-blacks and 1 broken nail at leg. It's not the pain that i mind. It's damn paiseh 2 fall down, in a public place. Lucky thing is that nobody is watching, except one si......, but then still a public place. And then when i step into the drain, unknowingly, and lose footing, about to land flat to my face, of coz i want protect my face and phone in my hand. So it was worse. Coz if i dun do so, ltr i really land flat on face, then someone si...., will be laughing. In fact rreally laughing and making a blig issue out of it.

Diao....

I tio bombed sia..... Just like in audi, tio zha si, so fell de hen cham......


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 9:27 PM


Saturday, August 8, 2009

Just did 30 mins of exercise. Haizz actually planned 45 mins but then cannot tahan leh. Too tired. First try leh. But so hard wat. But better than not doing at all right? Btw my exercise meant spinning hulahoop. Cannot think of other good stuff to do. Actually trapping myself in the storeroom also good exercise. Coz can sweat then is exercise le. Haha XD. But i don't want to trap myself in leh. When it gets dark, very scary wan leh. It's not that i am afraid of been in dark places, err maybe i am--- when it gets dark, some scary stories and -monster- start appearing in my mind. Cannot block the images or voices. Coz it's my imagination and my scary creations are really frightening hor.
And i am doing this at 7 plus. When the blue sky will turn into black dark sky suddenly. Suddenly? Coz i am closing my eyes, and i see is blue, close eyes for 1 song's time, open and it's dark. Kinda scary here. Ok i know i am lame. Bleh. ._.


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 7:55 PM


Friday, August 7, 2009

Sick of playing audi. Yea. Nothing wrong with your eyes. Really tired man. I can't find any reason to play anymore. Take today for example. Came home earlier coz of the national day celebration in school. I cant believe that i am actually liking the celebration. Coz i don't in the past. And it's not just becoz go home earlier than i like, of coz is part of the reason, but then there's something different. Very different from my primary school celebration where dumb students sing mindlessly the national songs.

Ok come back here.

Never been so -guai- in my life, at least not in my memory, before. I studied 2 straight hours, not sure of time but more or less like this, of maths. Finished the maths worksheet today at 3.30pm. From 1pm i guess. Very good le. For me. Though i only do 1 homework out of so many others, not significant enough to talk about, its an achievement. Something so long ago. Actually i spend the first half of time reading twilight. Then after bathing go do the work.

Serioously i can continue. But then i was thinking so many hours of reading words, couldn't it be good to play? i mean have a rest.

I don't feel like rushing to on the comp to play. In fact i tink i nvr on the comp in the whole week. Even if i did, which i actually did, is to do sch work like the home econ research.

Speaking of home econ, haizz.... Kinda regret man. It's like my character to regret. Dunknow why. Hate it. Coz i nvr exactly put in much effort so my research turned out ok at first to myself. But in comparison it suxs. Really. In content in length in attractivity and ...... Whatever what's done have been done. I thought of redoing. But seriously not going to waste time on something that is done sloppily. I had better things to do.

Ok so i kinda force myself to play. Funny right? LOL. But nvr exactly enjoy my game. This game just lost interest. Yea. Audi is outdated now.....


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 10:54 PM


Monday, August 3, 2009

Very tired now. Don't feel like doing anything. Not even the maths journal which should have been done last weekend, but did not. Just now read 1 chapter of Twilight and then the whole newspaper and then chapter 3 of hhistory textbook. Eyes tired sia. WEnt to search for info on the maths triple thing. Result come out a lot of crap and haizz... Just don't feel like reading. And besides i think maths journal won't be collected so early. It's always late collect de. Never on time. But suits me as well too.

Just now got school mission. Basically is sit there hear them talk. But this year's one is slightly more meaningful than last year de, although i forgot what we did last year.

When dismissed, i took the shortcut and just walked home while others had to walk back to school again. As i walked down the pavement, i looked at my primary school just opposite. Haizz...many memories flowed back to me. Some happy, some sad, some llonely, some painful, some meaningful, some hopeless.........

I remembered the classroom right the end of the corner of the building. Could see directly onto the road outside on the pavement. I looked and some painful memories came back. I never realize the classrooms here have curtains. Actually is not realize, coz i never sit near the window that time. Ok back here. P4 maybe the most unforgetable year and most hated one.
The form teacher. First day of school, got 1 lesson think is english. Asked us to get into groups of 5. And then tragedy happened. Class only have 11 girls. And of course i am the odd one out. I knew no one ffrom this class, and even if i knew.....dunkow what crap i am talking. Ok then so no group and no one can take me in. And i won't beg with them to let me in. Even if i did, they won't. So you know what the stupid fk teacher do? Just call me up and scold. Say a lot of crap and just humilate me by scolding me in front of the class like this. Does this really think i want this to happen???? Why should this be my fault???!!! Why can't she understand? And then just leave me alone, invisible..... She never think properly. In front of so many eyes she just scold. I hated her. What happened next is forgotten. I guess I cried or something. My first and last time. This memory is blocked from my miind and no matter how I remembered, just can't get it out again.


Another P4 incident. Another bitch teacher. Biased. I hate her. She thinks she is superior and just treat ppl like shit and favoured some.
She's the dumbass social studies teacher. Got groupwork counted for CA1, or something. Then not allowed to choose members, even if allowed, also nobody to choose. Then got teamed up with 3 hatred boys coz seated in a row of 4 with them. Another is that why am i always seated with boys, and irriating ones, in my school life????????
So they never do the work, i do it all, hardwork, but still the end product is hell. And i think got a low grade. Teacher asked, they pushed blame to me, said they do already. And teacher again scold me for the bad work. No matter what i say, no use. I am guilty for everything. For not submitting in time. For handing in baad work. She's biased against me. Nothing i do pleases her. She had excellent comments for other groups and then just scold and critised me. Only ME and NOT the other gai si boys. This world is damn unfair.

My P4 life, teachers, everything sucks.


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 5:32 PM


Sunday, August 2, 2009

I AM DEAD.

Accidentally lock my hp and then am dead.
Stupid phone lah just press random buttons and it got locked and then worse, the simcard cannot use, tio suspended also coz i used up my final attempt for the security pin. Now kenna scolded sia. The phone tio locked and haizz can't use liao.
Now bei mah de hen cham. Kenna scolded to the hell, man......
Diao......
Now am going to live without phone. Stupid phone. I dun mind. It's not like a lot of ppl will call me. Actually can be better coz won't have anyone to keep calling disturb.
But then the trouble is that the cost to unlock the phone may cost quite a lot. My savings should be enough, sure enough but i dun feel worth it to waste on this damn hp. And then i think after opening, the contact list and calendar notes will be gone.
zzz........ That's the price for being wu liao n go anyhow touch the phone.
If the cost for opening too high, i think my mum would rather buy me those cheap old fashioned phone. Then my memory card will be useless and songs gone.
But all this not important.
My mum will keep nagging on this matter and keep repeating this mistake forever and ever............


Seriously tired from waiting ☻ @ 10:07 PM